The Lurkers Support Me In Email

(See Citing nonexistent support for explanation)

The Lurkers Support Me in E-mail (To the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean")

By Jo Walton

The lurkers support me in email They all think I'm great don't you know. You posters just don't understand me But soon you will reap what you sow.

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see.

Oh it's true, and you know they support me. There's thousands of lurkers out there! They all understand my intentions you posters are not being fair!

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see

The lurkers support me in email "So why don't they post?" you all cry They're scared of your hostile intentions they're not as courageous as I.

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see

One day I'll round up all my lurkers we'll have a newsgroup of our own without all this flak from you morons my lurkers will post round my throne.

Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see

Jo Walton (bluejo@gmail.com)

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The Lurkers Support Me in Email

(To the tune of "The French Are Coming To Get Us")

by MegaMole

Now on this noble newsgroup I've come lurching into view, And clearly I have caused a stir, top-posting as I do; I only had two reboots with my disc from AOL, Then I plugged into my WebTV, and posted here as well...

Yes, the lurkers support me in email With gusto and vigour and vim And so does the Pope and the President, and My invisible weasel called Jim; I'm amazed at this Internet thingie, I've been typing so hard I've got cramp, But I've only just worked out what "posts" are, And tomorrow I'll take off the stamp..

Now though I haven't read the FAQs, I feel I must protest At lectures on Good Form from those who think they know the best - It's *easy* to reply to text the higher up you go, And that dear man, Mr. H!pcr!me, taught me everything I know...

Yes, the lurkers support me in email, And they're sure to back up what I post, But they're far too scared to admit it, Since the flamers here char them to toast... The lurkers support me in email, And I *do* know about netiquette, I can prove that my sig looks fine fifty lines big, You should see all the fan mail I get...

Yes, the lurkers support me in email, And the Warlords are marching as well, And B1FF likes me, and so does Free Porno, I've got personal mails - I can tell; And they're all writing to net-abuse.usenet To complain about how you behaved; All my Internet troops will lay siege to your group So not one little post will be saved.

You're all doomed if you don't pay attention 'Cos I am the one who knows best, And I don't care I'm posting in HTML 'Cos I'm posting through Outlook Express!

"MegaMole" alt.fan.pratchett,rec.music.filk [I] Filk: The Lurkers Support Me in Email Fri, 8 Feb 2002 23:53:35 +0000